There are times in life...

There are times in life when you regret things. There are times in life when you wish you could've done something differently. But I always tell myself that "Everything Happens For A Reason" and "My Angel Is Always There..."
 
It was 4 years ago, in the summer of 2009, and I was spending the usual 2 weeks of August visiting my family in Pittsburgh, PA. Every time I go there, I have the absolute best of times and make the most amazing memories. And that summer was definitely one I would never forget..
 
I wasn't that close to my great grandpa. At our little family gatherings he would always be sitting in his chair, trying to make conversation with everyone and give us little peppermints. Those peppermints always sat right next to him in a small glass cup and was always filled right to the top. He offered my cousins and I one every time we visited our grandma's house and after a while we started calling them his "signature candy." I always took one, but I never really talked to him because I just never knew what to say. To this day, I regret that so much.
 
During those 2 weeks, many events happened that still are a bit fuzzy in my mind and I can't quite remember everything that occurred. I do remember my great grandpa being in the hospital for some reason and I didn't understand why, being 11 at the time. The one thing that will never leave my mind though, is when my sister, my cousin and I were making our way into our grandma's house after taking a quick walk around her neighborhood and being pulled aside by my dad and my uncle before we reached the pathway to the front door of the house. They looked straight into our eyes with tears in theirs and told us that he passed away. Our great grandpa, who we never said goodbye to, and never visited in the hospital because we thought he was okay, was gone. Forever. I stood there, in complete shock. My heart was beating fast and I couldn't find a single word to say. In my grandma's house, the rest of the family was dead silent as quiet tears rolled down their faces, including mine. The next thing I knew, we were at his funeral...
 
He passed on August 15th and his funeral was a few days later in Cooperstown, PA which is about a 2 hour drive north of Pittsburgh. The place was near my family's campground where we own several acres of land. That was one of the first times I had been to that camp since I was a little girl. The funeral was so emotional to my whole family, as all funerals are. I didn't understand anything being said and I didn't want to listen. I stared at my great grandpa in his beautifully decorated casket and tried not to cry. I looked down at my feet and zoned out and before I knew it, the funeral was over, and my family was arranging a line to say our last goodbyes before the casket was closed. I walked after my dad who held my hand as we went by. He knelt down and put a kiss on his cheek while I softly touched his hand. Then we moved on. I wanted to just stand there and cry but I knew I shouldn't. One of the last people to go through was one of my older cousins, who gently placed a peppermint in the pocket of our great grandpa's tuxedo jacket. My family continued through the line until we all ended up outside and drove to the cemetery. The cemetery was right down the road from where our camp is, and was one of the main reasons why we picked to bury him there. We walked up to the top row of the small hill to where the hole was dug, which was right next to my great grandma who passed when I was very little. The casket was lowered into the ground and for the first time that day, I let the tears fall down my face. 
 
4 years later, it's 2013 and I'm 15 years old. This past August (2012), I was back in Pittsburgh for those 2 traditional weeks and my family decided to spend a few days up at camp. It would be my first time back there since the funeral. We rode the quads and the dirt bikes, walked through the woods, gathered around campfires and just spent every single second together. We visited the graves and placed flowers at both the one for my great grandpa and the one for my great grandma. I was sitting on the little wooden porch outside of our trailer and thought about the day of the funeral and all of the sadness. I remember just feeling the regret of never talking to him except to tell him 'hi' or 'goodbye.' And I will feel that regret for the rest of my life because there's nothing I can do about it now. 
 
These days, whenever I get so frustrated that I start to cry or when one little thing doesn't go right in my life, I know that he is watching me and he will give me strength and hope. He will help me through whatever it is that I'm going through because he is, and always will be, my guardian angel. I tell myself that "Everything happens for a reason" when nothing goes right. When I want something to happen so bad but it doesn't end up happening, I tell myself "Wait. God has something even better planned." These are the quotes that I live by and it helps me get through in almost any situation and to always look at the positive side of everything. I have learned everything from my beloved guardian angel <3
 
This is my story.
 
Much Love,
Dana <3