i wish i had some...

i wish i had some awesome, crazy story to tell you about my struggle
to fit in or fight some kind of illness. but this isn't that kind of
story.

MY story is one of faith. of forgiveness. and ultimately, my story is
one of love.

i've grown up in a church home my entire life. never had to worry about much.

i accepted Christ & was baptized when i was 9.. the whole she-bang.

but it never hit home until i got involved in my youth group,

you see, i'm a singer/songwriter, also.

when i was in 6th grade, i joined my church praise band. i was lucky
enough to be able to lead my youth group in worship every Wednesday
and Sunday.

everything was great.. i had a good family, good home life, good
grades.. but something was always missing.

there had to be something more.

pretty soon, i fell into the same routine. just goin through the
motions, ya know?

so summer of 2009 came around. the summer before i faced the scariest
yet most exciting time of my life-- high school.

the high schoolers were given the opportunity to go on a mission trip
out of the country to Grenada,

but since i was technically still a middle schooler, i had to stay in
my hometown to do mission work.

in all honesty, i was pretty upset.

but if God had let me have my own selfish ways, i wouldn't be who i am today.

God was looking out for me all along.

i worked that week at a VBS, singing and teaching little
kindergarteners about the big guy named Jesus.

by the end of the week, i had given everything, learning what it was
really like to serve Him.

on the last night, we had something called a concert of prayer.

no one preached.
no one conversed

we completely fixed our eyes on Jesus and sang with every ounce of
energy we had left

the them for the week was called "unhindered," meaning free

because

Jesus is the only one who frees us from all of our burdens

all of our struggles

all of our doubts

all of our worries.

during the worship session, we were all handed a notecard

we were told to write down what was holding us back from God

our biggest hinderance

no one would see it

just between you

and God

then, we went up the front

one by one

and nailed our burdens on the cross

now, being raised in a church my whole life, Christianity wasn't a new
thing for me

but i just felt empty

shallow

on my notecard, i wrote down "God I need you to fill me up."

and i know this sounds crazy

but as soon as i wrote that down the power and presence of God
completely overcame me

i started crying out to God and singing like never before

i remember it like yesterday

we were singing "From the Inside Out" by Hillsong United

the chorus cries:

"everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades
never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame
and the cry of my heart is to bring you praise
from the inside out, Lord my soul cries out"

that was the summer that changed my life.

the summer that i really found Jesus.

the summer i TRULY became unhindered

now, i've been using my talents for the Lord

after graduating high school, i dream of studying in Nashville to
become a worship leader

God has been using me to share my faith

because how can i stand to sit around

knowing God could be using me as his instrument

to save my friends from eternal punishment?

im definitely not perfect

i still stumble

alot

i have insecurities

and i have days when i'm merely no different

but im a work in progress

and God continues forgive me despite my failures and shortcomings.


now, i know it's not some radical story about my struggle to survive

but it's my story

and i wouldn't want it any other way



thank you for listening.

God bless.