Hi my name is becky.
My story starts here on January 13 2009 my mom my best friend. went into the hospital for pneumonia or we thought. we got to the ER and the hospital checked her in. Me, my sister and my brother waited in the waiting room. My dad came in the room and said you mom wants to talk to you girls. so we walked in there. she said how are you girls. i was only 14 at the time and my sister was 13. she said i will come home and we will go shopping. they ended up keeping her overnight. so they had put her in a room in the heart problems area. A few days passed but on the 18th at 3 am my dad gets a call saying my mom is being rushed to ICU, my dad comes in my room wakes me and my sister up and we got up and headed to the hospital. we get there and there is my mom on breathing machines not being able to talk. i saw her and ran out of the room and into the hallway and fell to the ground balling my eyes out. my brother who was 20 at the time came and sat by me. the last words i said to her before she went into the hospital was i hated her. 3 days passed and she was getting worse. I was at school when i got the news, i was in the middle of taking my 4th hour final when i get called to the counseling office. in the office sat my dad my aunt and my counselor i knew something was up. they said that my mom only has a few hours left. and at 4:30 pm on January 21 2009 my mom passed away. the doctors were 95% sure it was cancer. i blamed myself for her death. i was faking i was okay when really i wasn't. but this year 2012 i really lost it. i thought i did not belong here so i self harmed. i only did it once. but i felt like it was my fault. but recently i realized i should be living my life for her and not blaming myself. when before you exit released solider i completely lost it. music really did save my life. STAY STRONG you are loved <3
No comments:
Post a Comment